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Chris&Kez

Therapy

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People say I have a dry sense of humour, but don't knock it till you try it, great recreation and very therapeutic!

 

This is for all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just

need to take it out on someone!

Don't take that bad day out on someone you

know, take it out on someone you don't know!

 

 

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had

to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying,

"Hello?"

 

I politely said, "This is Moi and could

I please speak to Melissa Lewis?"

 

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone

could be that rude. I tracked down Melissa's correct number and called her.

She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with

Melissa, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided

to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a

jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass,"

and put it in my desk drawer.

 

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, Id

call him up. He'd answer, and Id yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always

cheer me up. Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This

was a real disappointment for me; I would have to stop calling the jackass.

 

Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice,

"Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone

company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID

program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down.

 

MUAHAHAHAHAHA...............................

 

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"

 

The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if

there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it.

 

Just dial 402-8863.....muahahahahaha again ! please refer a friend!

cont'd................

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cont'd............

 

A little background as to why: I was waiting to park at the mall and an

elderly lady took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think

she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started

to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her

plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a

sudden this black Camaro comes flying up the parking aisle in the wrong

direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling,

"You cant just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" The guy got out of his

Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even

hear me. I thought to myself, This guys a jackass. There are sure a lot of

jackasses in the world.

 

Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I

wrote down the number and I hunted for another place to park. A couple of

days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone

after calling 402-8863 and yelling, "You're jackass!" (Its really easy to

call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) I noticed the phone

number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I better

call this guy too. He answered the phone and said, "Hello."

 

I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"

 

"Yes, it is."

 

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

 

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. Its a yellow house and the cars parked

right out front."

 

I said, "What's your name?"

 

"My name is Don Hansen."

 

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

 

"I'm home in the evenings."

 

"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.

 

After I hung up, I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while

things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two

jackasses to call. Then, after a while of calling the jackasses and hanging

up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.

 

I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution: First, I

had my phone dial Jackass #1. The man answered nicely saying, "Hello." I

yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.

 

The jackass said, "Are you still there?"

 

I said, "Yeah."

 

He said, "Stop calling me."

 

I said, "No."

 

He said, "What's your name, pal?"

 

I said, "Don Hansen."

 

He said "Where do you live?"

 

"1802 West 34th Street. Its a yellow house and my black Camero's parked out front."

 

"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."

 

"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.

 

Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, "Hello." I said, "Hello, Jackass!"

 

He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."

 

"You'll what?"

 

"Ill kick your ass."

 

"Well, heres your chance. I'm coming right over, Jackass!" And I hung up.

 

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802

West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.

 

Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going down on W. 34th

Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to

watch the whole thing. Glorious! Watching two jackasses beating the crap out

of each other in front of six squad cars and a police helicopter was one of

the greatest experiences of my life!

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That was great :rolleyes:B);););):lol::lol::lol::lol::D;):lol::lol:B)B)B)B)B)B) Geese now MC is limiting my emotions. Whats the area code.

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Kez, you are Bad with a capital B! Funny, funny stuff! Yeah, sometimes ya gotta take the edge off somehow, someway. I see you've found your pressure relief valve. Beats booze and drugs, I suppose, unless you're one of the jackasses on Kez's hitlist.

This post is worthy of a free copy of The Naked Investor. For sure. Seeing as you have already won a copy, Kez, I hope others with aspirations for a freebie take note. You know who you are.

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Guest Guest_Chris&Kez

hang on Michael...I have a proposal, always the negotiator.

I agree RainBaby is very worthy of the naked investor manual....and, because I am such a giving person, I will foreit my 2nd copy just for her!!

How bout I do that and take a ZERO down home in Austin of your hands instead???..just out of the goodness of my heart of course.

 

I can make it worth your while, let's talk kid.

:rolleyes:

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Generous offer, Kez. But Rainbaby needs to become RainMan, (as visions of Dustin Hoffman dance through my head) :huh: . You heard the expression "Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime." I think that applies here. Besides, I get the feeling that he/she really was just goofing around.

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No MichaelC, I was not goofing around. Politely, F.Y.I. a Rain Baby is anyone who was born in seattle, WA "The Rain City". There are Seattlites but no Rain Men (though maybe you just started something new here) and I am a man. My intention was and is to help your members, my fellow investors, yourself and the newbie add a very valuable/worthy tool to their real estate tool box, which I knew I was doing, you know I did (please don't dummy up) and a fellow investor recognized this and has made it written that they think my post is worthy. Which again everyone here knows it is. The reason my original post is the way it was written is because I was excited about becoming a member of this forum, adding value to it and taking up your offer of a free book for posting something worthy on the site. I even foresaw your members/my fellow investors recognizing the wothyness of my post and again it has been written. You have also made my original post controversial making it fit the mold for the free book even more. To add to that, you have shown your member that wrote I'm worthy of the free book that you also haven't kept your word to them about sending me a free book

if they think my post is worthy. Please keep your word.

 

***MichaelC Posted: Dec 22 2002, 12:14 PM

 

Post something in any of the forums that I, or even another member thinks is particularly worthy, and I'll fire off to the lucky recipient a free copy of my book, The Naked Investor, (The Creative Techniques of Lease Purchasing Stripped to the Bare Essentials).

It could be something controversial or side splitting funny in OFF TOPIC.

Maybe something especially helpful to your fellow investors and newbies here on the forums.

In other words, anything that strikes me as worthy. So, don't be shy. Let's all have some fun, live and learn, educate, laugh, do deals, earn profits, and prosper.

 

I see I need to remind you of your written word and then see if your a man with integrity and if your word is credible. You wrote the above paragraph stating this, "Post something in any of the forums that I, or even another member thinks is particularly worthy, and I'll fire off to the lucky recipient a free copy of my book, The Naked Investor, (The Creative Techniques of Lease Purchasing Stripped to the Bare Essentials). Now, please see below:

 

*** hang on Michael...I have a proposal, always the negotiator.

I agree RainBaby is very worthy of the naked investor manual....and, because I am such a giving person, I will foreit my 2nd copy just for her!!

How bout I do that and take a ZERO down home in Austin of your hands instead???..just out of the goodness of my heart of course.

 

(I can make it worth your while, let's talk kid.*** I don't know if the last three sentences are directed at Michael or I but thank you for recognizing my worthy post and writing that you think it's worthy. I appreciate that very much and hope it helps your investing career.)

 

Michael, as you can read, this member thinks my post is worthy of the free book and you wrote "Post something in any of the forums that I, or even another member thinks is particularly worthy, and I'll fire off to the lucky recipient a free copy of my book, The Naked Investor, (The Creative Techniques of Lease Purchasing Stripped to the Bare Essentials)."

 

Thank you for your time,

RainBaby

 

P.S. I hope you keep your word as you seem like a good teacher and I would love to learn from your book. Maybe you had a bad morning or my original post came across wrong to you. I don't know. It wasn't neccessary for you to respond to my post the way you did upon my entrance to this forum giving something of value before ever asking for anything from anyone here. I understand we are all human and make mistakes. Please do the right thing. :huh: Hope you have a great life.

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MC:

 

Looks like RainBaby found a loophole.

 

Maybe this post should be transferred to The Legal Eagle. I think you can argue that although his post may fit the basic requirements, it does not comply with the intent of your generous offer.

 

Maybe we could have a poll. Been wondering what that tool was for!

 

 

Gene

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Nice to meet you too Rainbaby...

OK Sir, not to sound abrasive or anything, but

I took a look & for the life of me I didnt see any introduction or constructive comment & the only 2 posts you made were the ones where you gave us your link...very nice...( the one where you asked for the "free" book. )

and that lovely repetitive sermon up thar ^

 

As I recall, the manual has a price, thus making it a generous gift, not free.

 

Perhaps you're just misunderstood?

 

 

Anyway I think that was funnier than my post....

 

............ 2 AM , too late to drink a vodka & tonic, pass me your PMS meds pls.

 

sheesh

 

Jackass !

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F.Y.I. a Rain Baby is anyone who was born in seattle, WA "The Rain City".
Thank you for that clarifiication. And now that the niceities are out of the way, let me respond to your post.

Throwing up a link in your very first post and then demanding to be given a free copy of my manual is not the way to make a graceful entrance into the room. Following up your first post with a second where you question my honesty and integrity is not going to earn you a designation as a beneficiary on my life insurance policy, either. Then, you say:

To add to that, you have shown your member that wrote I'm worthy of the free book that you also haven't kept your word to them about sending me a free book if they think my post is worthy.
From what I see, that member has had a change of opinion:
Nice to meet you too Rainbaby...

OK Sir, not to sound abrasive or anything, but

I took a look & for the life of me I didnt see any introduction or constructive comment & the only 2 posts you made were the ones where you gave us your link...very nice...( the one where you asked for the "free" book. )

and that lovely repetitive sermon up thar ^

 

As I recall, the manual has a price, thus making it a generous gift, not free.

 

Perhaps you're just misunderstood?

 

 

Anyway I think that was funnier than my post....

 

............ 2 AM , too late to drink a vodka & tonic, pass me your PMS meds pls.

 

sheesh

 

Jackass !

I like to have fun and I like people, so I am not going allow this to breakdown into anything more than it already has....

First and foremost, these forums are for educational purposes. For all members to share information and experiences, to offer advice and opinions based on those experiences, to learn and to teach, and to support one another. This forum is not so unique in that regard.

Where I think this board differs from all others is in the spirit of comraderie and friendship that has developed here. This is a fun place to spend some time each day. At least I think so, and the feedback I receive on a weekly basis seems to tell me that is the general consensus. No one here is being belittled, ridiculed, disparaged, (well, except my in-laws), or made to feel unwelcome. Egos are to be checked at the door. I intend to keep it this way. I see no reason why education need be distinct and detached from having fun and a sense of humor. So, with this in mind I am not about to allow this issue to become a distraction or to degenerate into anything negative.

I have a few ideas to turn something negative, (that would be a disgruntled new member), into a positive.

First, I like Gene's suggestion:

Maybe this post should be transferred to The Legal Eagle. I think you can argue that although his post may fit the basic requirements, it does not comply with the intent of your generous offer. 
I will be contacting our Legal Eagle for counsel on this matter. A professional, independent third party is needed here for clarification. His unbiased opinion will be put forth here. All parties have the right to appeal to Judge Judy.

Second, I will make you an offer publicly. If you buy my manual I will throw in free enrollment in my Program One. On top of that, complete your first deal and I will refund the cost of the manual to you, also. There's one catch though.....your progression through my program is going to be publicly posted on this board. We'll set up a Rainbaby Diary thread where everyone can watch your progression and your success as it unfolds. Kind of like a Naked Investor Reality Show. Are you up for it?

In the meantime, Rainbaby, I want you to know you are most welcome here. Learn, have fun, make some online friends, and get some deals done.

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Michael:

 

Well said. No need to quote any of your text, as I would have to quote it all. Every point that you touched on is exactly why I am here. I am new and have yet to become familiar with all of the forum participants. However, it only takes a few minutes reading previous posts to know that this is a special place and I want to be a part of it.

 

Your offer is more than generous.

 

RainBaby,

 

Welcome and I hope you hang around for awhile. There is plenty of room.

 

Now where is that bartender?

 

Gene

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Hi Guys!,

It's me again(a newbie).WOW!!! - If the last 24 hrs. are any indication of things to come - I can't wait!

Being @ the right place @ the right time is, as we all know, Very Important. That must be why I'm here to see this when I am(I think?). As an innocent bystander there is an opportunity here that has to be obvious (at least to me) and is possibly "WORTHY" of the following Proposal:

A tremendous Win/Win for all of us -

As a newbie(only done 3 complete nice rebabs in the last 9 months) walked away with 45k cash-out, still own the homes with 20% equity, and have total 700/mo cash flow after refi.

I have figured out what I've done so far completely on my own - pretty smart - ya think, but have learned to Hate Banks(Jack...)/Red Tape(the more you make, the less they think you should have), Toilets & Tenants(that reminds me its time to change my office phone#), and just plain old gettin my hands dirty...

Conclusion: There Has to be a Better Way!!! LO & BeHold up pops this Michael(Cool) site with all these smiley faces winking @ Me!!!

PLAIN & SIMPLE : My qualifications are --Great Management skills - Former SE Nat.Acct. Mngr for TYCO before their stock plumeted $64to$13 immediately following Enron. I can get, keep, grow, wine, dine, hire, fire, and the other things that look good on a resume.

My bro. n law is largest RE Broker(10-15agents) in our small town. He's a good contact. I paid for my wife's Broker License & software so SHE can sit at MY desk and pull daily MLS Hotsheets, Listings, Tax Base, Comps, etc...

I have my own home office complete w/fax, computers, printers, ergonomic desk, shelves, file cabs, etc... SO:

If we could work something w/Program 2, I'll have the 1st deal signed by middle of next week, or as soon as paperwork and instructions are downloaded, shipped, or faxed?

I'm doing this full time which will provide plenty of time to do daily posts, activity monitoring and be micro-managed per your previous offer to RB. THEN:::

MY Feet will be held over the fire, we'll all make $$, learn a lot, have Fun, and make more $$$.

RainBaby - Even though your posts are brief, you appear to have valuable/shareable experience in this arena. While this would be a small sacrifice to you, I'm sure you'll appreciate seeing a newbie(me) benefit tremendously!!!

 

All In Favor.........? All Opposed.........?

 

Let Me Know!

 

Scott

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ScottNC:

 

PLAIN & SIMPLE : My qualifications are --Great Management skills - Former SE Nat.Acct. Mngr for TYCO before their stock plumeted $64to$13 immediately following Enron.

 

If your background is as a SE (Sales Engineer) for the old AMP... now Tyco Electronics, we may have similar roots. I am a part timer in this world of REI and current employee of a Swiss manufacturer of wire processing equipment. I work with Tyco on an almost daily basis.

 

Gene

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