Olympic Swimmer

[Adam King (MI) 1]

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to

marry her

right away. She protested, "But we don't know anything about each

other."

He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each

other as we go

along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a

honeymoon to a very nice resort.

One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up

off his

towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half

tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple.

This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before

he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a

few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

She said, 'That was incredible!" He said, "I used to be an Olympic

diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves

as we went along."

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing

laps. She was

moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the

pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other

end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breaststroke, even

butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she

climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.

He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic

endurance swimmer?"

"No, she said, 'I was a hooker in Detroit and I worked

both sides of

the river."

 

HAD TO ADD THIS ONE TOO! LMAO!!!

 

Dinner with the Girlfriend's Parents Mark as unread

 

 

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have

dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the

girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would

like to go out and make love for the first time.

 

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so

he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The

pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy

everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

 

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms

he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy

insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather

busy, it being his first time and all.

 

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and

meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to

meet my parents, come on in!"

 

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the

girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace

and bows his head.

 

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his

head down.

 

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

 

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend

leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you

were this religious."

 

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was

a pharmacist."

[MichaelC 160]

I like them, but the judges apparently didn't think much of the stories. After announcing their scores, apparently Adam reacted emotionally.......