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15 Things A Man Can Do At Wal-mart

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the sad thing is I have done 12 out of the 15


15 things a man can do at Wal-Mart -- while his wife is taking her sweet





01. Get 24 boxes of condoms &randomly put them in people's carts when

they aren't looking.


02. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5 minute



03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.


04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3

in Housewares' . . and see what happens.


05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.


06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department -- and tell other shoppers

you're sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the

Bedding Department.


08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why

can't you people just leave me alone?"


09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your



10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he

knows where the anti-depressants are.


11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme

from "Mission impossible."


12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different

sized funnels.


13. Hide in a clothing rack ..... and when people browse through, say:



14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal

position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"


And last but not least:


15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . . then yell

loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here.

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