Men are like ....

[West Coast Girl 1]

Men are like.....Bank Accounts.

Without a lot of money, they don't generate much

interest.

 

Men are like.....Blenders.

You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

 

Men are like.....Chocolate Bars.

Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your

hips.

 

Men are like.....Coffee

The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all

night long.

 

Men are like.....Commercials.

You can't believe a word they say.

 

Men are like.....Computers

Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

 

Men are like.....Coolers.

Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

 

Men are like.....Copiers.

You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

 

Men are like.....Curling irons.

They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

 

Men are like.....Government bonds.

They take so long to mature.

 

Men are like.....Horoscopes.

They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

 

Men are like.....Lawn Mowers.

If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding

it.

 

Men are like.....Lava lamps.

Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

 

Men are like.....Mascara.

They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

 

Men are like.....Parking spots.

The good ones are already taken and the ones that are

left are handicapped or extremely small.

 

Men are like.....Popcorn.

They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

 

Men are like.....Place mats.

They only show up when there's food on the table.

 

Men are like.....Snowstorms.

You never know when they're coming, how many inches

you'll get or how long they will last.

 

Men are like.....Used Cars.

Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.

 

Men are like.....Weather.

Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

 

Men are like......Bananas.

The older they get, the less firm they are.

 

 

P.S. Don't hate me! I don't write them! I just pass them along!

[BEV! 0]

Men are like.....Bank Accounts.

Without a lot of money, they don't generate much

interest.

But where does one go to meet not so rich men at?

 

Men are like.....Coffee

The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all

night long.

Only in the perfect world...

 

Men are like.....Commercials.

You can't believe a word they say.

AMEN to dat haha!

 

 

Men are like.....Curling irons.

They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Always hot but can't handle the heat

 

Men are like.....Government bonds.

They take so long to mature.

Yet, they age so fast haha!

 

Men are like.....Lava lamps.

Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

 

Men are like.....Parking spots.

The good ones are already taken and the ones that are

left are handicapped or extremely small.

I'll get the last good man available soon

 

Men are like.....Popcorn.

They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

A whole 30 seconds to be exact

 

I love you guys, but this is funny

[MichaelC 160]

I think I'll slink off into the corner, rather than try to respond. . .

[phil43 0]

Here's one for us, guys!

 

Why Men Prefer Dogs Over Women

 

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

 

Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

 

Dogs think you sing great.

 

Dogs don't cry.

 

A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

 

Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

 

The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.

 

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

 

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

 

Dogs are excited by rough play.

 

Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

 

Dogs love red meat.

 

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

 

Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

 

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

 

Dogs don't shop.

 

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

 

A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

 

Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

 

A dog's parents never visit.

 

Dogs love long car trips.

 

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

 

Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

 

Dogs like beer.

 

Dogs don't hate their bodies.

 

No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

 

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

 

Dogs never criticize.

 

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

 

Dogs never expect gifts.

 

It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

 

Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

 

Dogs like to do their snooping outside, as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

 

Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

 

Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

 

You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.

 

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

 

Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

 

Dogs never want foot-rubs.

 

Dogs can't talk.

 

Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

 

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

 

All in good fun, of course

 

Phil

[phil43 0]

Couldn't resist adding this one....

 

Vocabulary Lesson For Men - Words Women Use:

 

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with '"Nothing" usually end in "Fine."

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

Whatever: It's a woman's way of saying #@*! YOU!

[West Coast Girl 1]

Since we're all on a roll here, here's another one for ya's!

 

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

 

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear " the rules"

From the female side.

 

 

 

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

 

Please note... these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!

 

 

 

 

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

 

See a doctor.

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

 

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

 

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

 

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sports , cars,

or, sex.

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

 

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

 

 

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

Pass this to as many men as you can -

to give them a laugh.

 

Pass this to as many women as you can -

 

to give them a bigger laugh