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Jason (AL)

1st Day in Hell

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One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...

 

Satan: 'Why so glum?'

 

Guy: 'What do you think? I'm in hell!'

 

Satan: 'Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?'

 

Guy: 'Sure, I love to drink.'

 

Satan: 'Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca.. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway.'

 

Guy: 'Gee that sounds great!'

 

Satan: 'You a smoker?'

 

Guy: 'You better believe it!'

 

Satan: 'All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?'

 

Guy: 'Wow...that's awesome!'

 

Satan: 'I bet you like to gamble.'

 

Guy: 'Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.'

 

Satan: 'Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow.'

 

Guy: 'Cool!'

 

Satan: 'What about Drugs?'

 

Guy: 'Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?'

 

Satan: 'That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares.'

 

Guy: 'Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!'

 

Satan: 'You gay?'

 

Guy: 'No...'

 

Satan: 'Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough...

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Satan: 'You gay?'

 

Guy: 'No...'

 

Satan: 'Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough...

;) An oldie, but still worth a revisit every now and then.

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An oldie

 

Werd?

 

I'll Google some new hell jokes then. ;)

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Bleh, so be it.

 

I'll go from bringing posts down, to posting old stuff.

Hell, I might even start replying to posts from '03.

 

I reckon everyone has their respective role here

on the forums, eh?

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An oldie

 

Werd?

 

I'll Google some new hell jokes then. :blink:

 

Is this one an oldie? ;)

 

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.

 

As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.

 

"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

 

"Shut up", barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.

 

"Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

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Bleh, so be it.

 

I'll go from bringing posts down, to posting old stuff.

Hell, I might even start replying to posts from '03.

 

I reckon everyone has their respective role here

on the forums, eh?

:blink: Yes, Jason. Everyone fills a need here. You tell old jokes; Adam tells bad ones. ;)

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