West Coast Girl 1 Report post Posted November 15, 2007 This one is for you Dougie boy! Just think of all the possibilities! Very therapeutic indeed! When you occasionally have a really bad day, andyou just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out onsomeone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'dforgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A mananswered, saying 'Hello.' I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak withRobyn Carter?' Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the rightf *** ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When Itracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I foundthat I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong'number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're anasshole!' and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it,and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had areally bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!' It always cheered me up. When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called hisnumber and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephonecompany. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller IDProgram?' He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're anasshole!' and hung up. One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into aparking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulledinto the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn andyelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiotignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole(I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd bettercall the BMW asshole, too. I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?' He said, 'Yes, it is.' I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?' He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's ayellow duplex, and the car's parked right out in front.' I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,' I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?' He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.' I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?' He said, 'Yes?' I said, 'Don, you're an asshole!' Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1. He said, 'Hello.' I said, 'You're an asshole!' (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, 'Are you still there?' I said, 'Yeah.' He screamed, 'Stop calling me.' I said, 'Make me.' He asked, 'Who are you?' I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.' He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?' I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax, ayellow duplex, I have a black Beamer parked in front.' He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had betterstart saying your prayers.' I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,' and hung up. Then I called Asshole #2. He said, 'Hello?' I said, 'Hello, asshole,' He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...' I said, 'You'll what?' He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,' I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm comingover right now.' Then I hung up and immediately called the police, sayingthat I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I wason my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going downon Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating thecrap out of each other in front of six cop cars and an overheadnews helicopter and surrounded by a news crew. NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work. And it will work for you too Dougie! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichaelC 160 Report post Posted November 16, 2007 An oldie, but a creative goodie! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GetErDun 0 Report post Posted November 16, 2007 I have never heard it. That is absolutely hilarious. I'm going to print that out for whenever I need a lift. How devious. I love it! ROFL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Tony- 0 Report post Posted November 25, 2007 I remember when option8 posted that, I peed my pants then too. Have you heard from her MC? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites