Anger Management

[West Coast Girl 1]

This one is for you Dougie boy! Just think of all the possibilities! Very therapeutic indeed!

 

 

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and

you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on

someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

 

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd

forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man

answered, saying 'Hello.'

 

I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with

Robyn Carter?'

 

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right

f *** ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me.

 

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I

tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found

that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

 

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong'

number again.

 

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an

asshole!' and hung up.

 

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it,

and put it in my desk drawer.

 

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a

really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!'

 

It always cheered me up.

 

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic

'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his

number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone

company.

 

I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID

Program?'

 

He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.

 

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an

asshole!' and hung up.

 

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a

parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled

into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and

yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot

ignored me.

 

I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote

down his number.

 

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole

(I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better

call the BMW asshole, too.

 

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

 

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

 

I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

 

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a

yellow duplex, and the car's parked right out in front.'

 

I asked, 'What's your name?'

 

He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'

 

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

 

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

 

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

 

He said, 'Yes?'

 

I said, 'Don, you're an asshole!'

 

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

 

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

 

Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1.

 

He said, 'Hello.'

 

I said, 'You're an asshole!' (But I didn't hang up.)

 

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

 

I said, 'Yeah.'

 

He screamed, 'Stop calling me.'

 

I said, 'Make me.'

 

He asked, 'Who are you?'

 

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

 

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

 

I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax, a

yellow duplex, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

 

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better

start saying your prayers.'

 

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,' and hung up.

 

Then I called Asshole #2.

 

He said, 'Hello?'

 

I said, 'Hello, asshole,'

 

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

 

I said, 'You'll what?'

 

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'

 

 

I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming

over right now.'

 

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying

that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was

on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

 

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down

on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.

 

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax.

 

I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the

crap out of each other in front of six cop cars and an overhead

news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

 

 

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work. And it will work for you too Dougie!

[MichaelC 160]

An oldie, but a creative goodie!

[GetErDun 0]

I have never heard it. That is absolutely hilarious. I'm going to print that out for whenever I need a lift. How devious. I love it! ROFL

[-Tony- 0]

I remember when option8 posted that, I peed my pants then too. Have you heard from her MC?