Adam King (MI) 1 Report post Posted February 14, 2008 FAMILY Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to theother sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She startsup the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 yearold is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. Sheshakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," as sheknocked on her wooden table for good measure. " She then yells, "I'll comeup and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." _______________________________________________ "I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!" Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine Marchday. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second manreplied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's havea beer." ___________________________________________ OLD FRIENDSTwo elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, theyhad shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activitieshad been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, theywere playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get madat me . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think ofyour name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell mewhat your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes shejust stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need toknow?" _____________________________________________SENIOR DRIVING As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I justheard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It'shundreds of them!" ______________________________________________DRIVING Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely seeover the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to anintersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. Thewoman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I couldhave sworn we just went through a red light."After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the lightwas red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almostsure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she waslosing it.!She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the lightwas red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman andsaid, "Mildred, do you know that we just ran through three red lights in arow? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?"______________________________________________________ An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car hasbeen broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to thedispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedaland even the accelerator!" she cried.The dispatcher say, "Stay calm, Maam, an officer is on the way."A few minutes later, the officer radios in."Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites