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Adam King (MI)

Senior Moments

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FAMILY

 

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96

year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the

other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts

up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year

old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She

shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," as she

knocked on her wooden table for good measure. " She then yells, "I'll come

up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

 

_______________________________________________

 

 

 

"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

 

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March

day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man

replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have

a beer."

 

___________________________________________

 

 

 

 

OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they

had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities

had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they

were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad

at me . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of

your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me

what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she

just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to

know?"

 

_____________________________________________

SENIOR DRIVING

 

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just

heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.

Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's

hundreds of them!"

 

______________________________________________

DRIVING

 

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely see

over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an

intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The

woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could

have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light

was red again.

 

Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost

sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was

losing it.!

She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light

was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and

said, "Mildred, do you know that we just ran through three red lights in a

row? You could have killed us both!"

 

Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?"

______________________________________________________

 

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has

been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the

dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal

and even the accelerator!" she cried.

The dispatcher say, "Stay calm, Maam, an officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in.

"Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

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