Kimberly 0 Report post Posted February 25, 2005 A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come gain and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. In this country .... we don't speak aloud in pubic places about our sex lives ........” "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' sexa, I’ma just telling my friend how to spella ‘MISISSIPPI’”! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BEV! 0 Report post Posted February 25, 2005 HAHAHAHAHA!!! Kim, is too funny!!! A friend emailed me this one joke last Friday! (is my favorite one so far) -----------------One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two pissa toast. She bring me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say, you no understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no piss on plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know lady, she calla me somma ma b*tch. Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy ana tell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH! Later I got to eat soma lunch at Ricky's Place, the waitress she bring me spoon, a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock - She tell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, I wanna fock on table. She say you betta not fock on table you sonna ma b*tch - I not even know lady ana she call me sonna ma b*tch. So, I go back to my hotel room, an there's no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheet, he tell me go to toilet. So, I say, you no understand, I wanna sheet on bed. He say you betta not sheet on bed you sonna ma b*tch. I don't even know man ana he call me sonna ma b*tch! I go to check out of hotel and man at desk say peace to you. I say peace on you too!, you sonna ma b*tch! - I GO BACK TO ITALY!!! -------------------- Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frmtgrl 0 Report post Posted February 25, 2005 Love it! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichaelC 160 Report post Posted February 25, 2005 Ey, you gotta problem with the Italians? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brian - L.V. 0 Report post Posted February 26, 2005 Ey, you gotta problem with the Italians? Too bad I can't a pic like that for being polish. Everything I can find has at least 3 people screwing in a lightbulb. I don't get it............. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rose 0 Report post Posted March 5, 2005 My mom sent me this one... I can so relate being from an Italian neighborhood in Brooklyn: To all my Italian friends and family, and a few who are not -enjoy! ...and if you're from Brooklyn, New Jursey, or Long Eyeland, you'll really appreciate this! . . . . Eye-Talian Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?Because Italians hate all witnesses. Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony? On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said - TO N.Y. You know you're Italian when . . . . You can bench press 325pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit twocappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agentand lawyer are all your cousins. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on thesame block. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hallowners. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumedhis mother had an affair. There were more than 28 people in your bridal party. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion. . . . . . . . . . . And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when . . Your grandfather had a fig tree.You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.Christmas Eve . . only fish.Your mom's meatballs are the best.Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella." Ciao! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichaelC 160 Report post Posted March 7, 2005 As one who was born in Brooklyn and grew up on LawnGuyland, in an all Italian family who owned Fay's Cakes and Pastries, you struck a nerve with that post, Rose! How true, and what fun memories. I have three Uncle Tony's! Sunday pasta was always at 2:00PM. The earth would have to tilt off axis to change that schedule! Christmas Eve dinner at my Aunt Marie's house was always a blast: lobster, calamari, scungilli, octopus salad, bacala, etc.....sigh....I'm waxing nostalgic now... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rose 0 Report post Posted March 8, 2005 As one who was born in Brooklyn and grew up on LawnGuyland, in an all Italian family who owned Fay's Cakes and Pastries, you struck a nerve with that post, Rose! How true, and what fun memories. I have three Uncle Tony's! Sunday pasta was always at 2:00PM. The earth would have to tilt off axis to change that schedule! Christmas Eve dinner at my Aunt Marie's house was always a blast: lobster, calamari, scungilli, octopus salad, bacala, etc.....sigh....I'm waxing nostalgic now... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yup Sunday pasta was at grandma's at 2 and the WHOLE family showed up. Christmas Eve was fresh seafood..... We moved out here to SoCal in 1969 and things were forever changed... I really miss those days... *sigh* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
California Rick 0 Report post Posted March 8, 2005 we don't speak aloud in pubic places about our sex lives ........” "...in pubic places about our sex lives?" Where's Sigmund when we need him? Kim, oh, Kimmmmmmmmmmmmmm, sweetie...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
California Rick 0 Report post Posted March 8, 2005 Where else would you speak, Kimmers? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jason (AL) 1 Report post Posted March 12, 2005 Checka dis'a out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichaelC 160 Report post Posted March 13, 2005 Checka dis'a out.<{POST_SNAPBACK}>I'd love to, but the linka not aworking for me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kimberly 0 Report post Posted March 13, 2005 http://cartoons-etc.com/italian.htmChecka dis'a out.<{POST_SNAPBACK}>I'd love to, but the linka not aworking for me. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichaelC 160 Report post Posted March 13, 2005 Must be me, guys. But that link freezes my PC every time I try and access it. Could be the anti-Italian filter I have installed... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites