Adam King (MI) 1 Report post Posted September 23, 2004 This was taken out a list of funny things Children say. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of ChickenLittle to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, "....and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said; "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said,"I think he said: 'Holy S#@%! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichaelC 160 Report post Posted September 23, 2004 5/10. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam King (MI) 1 Report post Posted September 23, 2004 Okay,That's it, you're forcing me to pull out the big guns....... A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move"! A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his haircut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too"! Okay, that's all I've got without going totally over board.... Have a good weekend!Adam Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichaelC 160 Report post Posted September 23, 2004 That's it, you're forcing me to pull out the big gunsI read that quickly the first time around and I saw ...."you're forcing me to pull out the big one". And I'm thinking to myself, "He's pushing the envelope this time.....A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move"!4/10A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his haircut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too"!This one got a from the Italian judge......7.5/10Average score of 5.75/10. The Colombian judge recommends you don't give up your day job just yet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew Ikeda 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2004 Hey Adam, I thought they were great!! 10/10!! Heck, give up that day job and go for it buddy!! Here's another one you will like: A third grade teacher asks a question: "A man sees five birds sitting on a wire and goes out and shoots one of them, how many are left?" After a few seconds of silence, little Johnny raises his hand and says "None". The teacher says: "Well Johnny, the correct answer is that there are four left since you started with five and one was killed, there are now four left." Johnny replied: "Yes, but I thought the other four flew away so there were none left." The teacher replied: "Sorry, but I sure do like your thinking." Then Johnny asks the teacher a question so the teacher says 'go ahead Johnny' so Johnny asks the teacher this: "Three women are sitting at a table eating ice cream. One lady just wolfs down the ice cream in one bite, another lady licks it gingerly, and another lady takes normal bites. Which one is married?" The teacher turns red and answers: "Well, I suppose the one who wolfed down the ice cream". Johnny's reply: "Sorry teacher, it's the woman with the ring on her finger but I sure do like your thinking!" BTW, I heard this on the "Bob and Tom" Show. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites