Doug Pretorius (ON) 9 Report post Posted August 14, 2006 Me: “This is Doug Pretorius with Homes Everyday. I understand you filled out the form on our website because you realize you suck at selling your own house?”Seller: “Oh yes Mr. Pretorius, sir! We didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into.”Me: “Well no s**t, dumbass! Selling houses is serious business, you can’t just stick your finger up your butt…I mean, a sign in your yard, and think it will sell.”Seller: “You’re so right! I was such a fool!”Me: “No s**t! HAHAHA! Next time you’ll call us first, right?”Seller: “Umm, I guess.”Me: “I can’t hear you!”Seller: “I…I mean, sir, yes, sir!”Me: “That’s better, remember, being a smartass will get you hung up on. I really don’t give a s**t about you or your stupid little house and your attitude has me THIS close to slamming this phone down right now!”Seller: “I’m so very, very sorry, sir! Please PLEASE don’t hang up! I NEED YOU!”Me: “Of course you need me, are you only figuring that out now? What an idiot!”Seller: “Yes sir!”Me: “Now let’s see… well first of all you’re price is totally full of s**t, that’s strike number one. And you want all cash? HAHAHA! Please…haha…(tears streaming)…please tell me you aren’t that stupid!”Seller: “Well…yeah…I…I…mean we need the money out…”Me: “STOP RIGHT THERE! Are you trying to tell me that you expect CASH when our website CLEARLY states that we LEASE PURCHASE?”Seller: “We need our cash!”Me: “F**k you!” (slam) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichaelC 160 Report post Posted August 14, 2006 It's perfect, Doug! You finally got it! Please keep us posted on the results. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Doug Pretorius (ON) 9 Report post Posted August 14, 2006 Works like a charm, baby! They call back begging forgiveness everytime Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Craig 0 Report post Posted August 15, 2006 Me: “This is Doug Pretorius with Homes Everyday. I understand you filled out the form on our website because you realize you suck at selling your own house?”Seller: “Oh yes Mr. Pretorius, sir! We didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into.”Me: “Well no s**t, dumbass! Selling houses is serious business, you can’t just stick your finger up your butt…I mean, a sign in your yard, and think it will sell.”Seller: “You’re so right! I was such a fool!”Me: “No s**t! HAHAHA! Next time you’ll call us first, right?”Seller: “Umm, I guess.”Me: “I can’t hear you!”Seller: “I…I mean, sir, yes, sir!”Me: “That’s better, remember, being a smartass will get you hung up on. I really don’t give a s**t about you or your stupid little house and your attitude has me THIS close to slamming this phone down right now!”Seller: “I’m so very, very sorry, sir! Please PLEASE don’t hang up! I NEED YOU!”Me: “Of course you need me, are you only figuring that out now? What an idiot!”Seller: “Yes sir!”Me: “Now let’s see… well first of all you’re price is totally full of s**t, that’s strike number one. And you want all cash? HAHAHA! Please…haha…(tears streaming)…please tell me you aren’t that stupid!”Seller: “Well…yeah…I…I…mean we need the money out…”Me: “STOP RIGHT THERE! Are you trying to tell me that you expect CASH when our website CLEARLY states that we LEASE PURCHASE?”Seller: “We need our cash!”Me: “F**k you!” (slam) Sounds like the last guy I tried to ballout out of foreclosure. What a firefly he was. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
<Steve> 82 Report post Posted August 15, 2006 ...so what do you say to the un-motivated sellers? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichaelC 160 Report post Posted August 15, 2006 ...so what do you say to the un-motivated sellers? He feeds them to his sled dogs. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brian - L.V. 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2006 Wow, that's funny. Like Craig said, it sounds like someone that I tried bailing out of foreclosure also. The guy waited until less than a week before the sale to finally be realistic. Good post, Doug! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam King (MI) 1 Report post Posted August 28, 2006 Man, I just now read this thing...holy crap that's funny! Let me tell you why.... Today I went to look at a house in the boondocks. The lady said that there would be some "stuff" laying around and to keep an open mind. First strike, she didn't tell me it was down a dirt road and I brought the damn M3. With that new front spoiler so low (To the top of my foot) I couldn't take it down their $hitty road. The husband had to pick me up in his truck. Then, when I got to the house it was so bad inside that I had to actually ask if anyone got hurt! I mean, HOLY CRAP PEOPLE HOW DO YOU LIVE THIS WAY!!!! So, there I was talking about terms because they had NO equity in the house. She was like, no way I want ALL cash and I'm not even going to continue fixing it up. What!?! It had NO carpet, tiles missing in the kitchen and bathrooms, toilets were full of $hit because the water was off, there were clothes EVERYWHERE, the downstairs was SOAKED and the ceiling was destroyed from an apparent previous fire. Not to mention when they talk about location, location location this WASN'T IT! And to top it off I got this; and if you're not going to buy it I already signed papers with Century 21.REALLY! Man I would like to meet that Realtor. I can save him time and help him from dealing with the listing by just kicking him in the nuts when I see him. I mean, COME ON! So there I was getting back into the truck. As we were backing out of the driveway her husband looked at me and said; you wasted your time didn't you? I started to laugh. No man, the drive out here was nice. Regards,Adam Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichaelC 160 Report post Posted August 28, 2006 Man, I just now read this thing...holy crap that's funny! Let me tell you why.... Today I went to look at a house in the boondocks. The lady said that there would be some "stuff" laying around and to keep an open mind. First strike, she didn't tell me it was down a dirt road and I brought the damn M3. With that new front spoiler so low (To the top of my foot) I couldn't take it down their $hitty road. The husband had to pick me up in his truck. Then, when I got to the house it was so bad inside that I had to actually ask if anyone got hurt! I mean, HOLY CRAP PEOPLE HOW DO YOU LIVE THIS WAY!!!! So, there I was talking about terms because they had NO equity in the house. She was like, no way I want ALL cash and I'm not even going to continue fixing it up. What!?! It had NO carpet, tiles missing in the kitchen and bathrooms, toilets were full of $hit because the water was off, there were clothes EVERYWHERE, the downstairs was SOAKED and the ceiling was destroyed from an apparent previous fire. Not to mention when they talk about location, location location this WASN'T IT! And to top it off I got this; and if you're not going to buy it I already signed papers with Century 21.REALLY! Man I would like to meet that Realtor. I can save him time and help him from dealing with the listing by just kicking him in the nuts when I see him. I mean, COME ON! So there I was getting back into the truck. As we were backing out of the driveway her husband looked at me and said; you wasted your time didn't you? I started to laugh. No man, the drive out here was nice. Regards,Adam Funny story, Adam! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Doug Pretorius (ON) 9 Report post Posted August 28, 2006 No man, the drive out here was nice.Ooooh man I gotta remember that line Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jason (AL) 1 Report post Posted August 28, 2006 Husband: "you wasted your time didn't you?" Adam: "Nah. This is how I'm able afford those BMW payments...." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
<Steve> 82 Report post Posted August 29, 2006 hahaha...Adam this one has got to be a tax write off! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
